According to the CDC, this has been one of the worst flu seasons in recent history. Follow these simple workplace tips to increase the odds of staying healthy.
Keep people away
If your coworkers don’t come near you, you’re more likely to stay healthy. One way to repel others is to fake sneeze/cough in public areas and group settings. This technique is especially effective if you fail to cover your mouth. Your coworkers will think you’re disgusting and will be more likely to keep their germs to themselves.
Wear protective clothing
If you must interact with others, wear a biohazard suit. This is an important addition to any wardrobe but should only be purchased new. One never knows where a used suit has been – it could be from any old plague.
Reduce exposure to contamination
We are our own worst enemies where disease is concerned. Colds and flu are often contracted because someone touched their face after making contact with a contaminated surface. A simple way around this is to wear a bag over your head*. If you try to touch your face, you’ll touch the bag instead. Be sure to cut holes for your eyes, nose and mouth. This is especially important if you plan to wear the bag while driving.
*Caution: When selecting a bag, use paper, not plastic. Placing a plastic bag over your nose and mouth is dangerous and can result in suffocation.
Enlist the aid of service animals
Avoid touching contaminated surfaces altogether by investing in a service monkey to open doors and touch things for you. You may have to get prior approval from Human Resources, but with the proper paperwork, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Stop others from touching surfaces you normally touch. Place “Police Line: Do Not Cross” tape around common areas that you use (e.g., lunchroom, restrooms) to keep the potentially infected out. For fun, use chalk outlines like those used in crime scenes as an added repellent.