I am still very young in my twenties, an the fantasy romance a tall, dark strapping man that will come sweeping me off my feet with a trail of perfect rose petals transcending beneath him still seems like a reality. In the movies, love seems to come at the drop of a dime and is seemingly timeless in the moments on screen. However, in real life sometimes we tend to put limits on when we want or expect to feel. In the stereotypes that we give romance, we also give set(s) of rules that we believe will make this fairytale romance come true, for example, ‘The Waiting Game”.
Almost every person I have come across, men and women, have some sort of waiting list that they put their significant others into once they enter into more serious phases of a relationship. Time seems to be the most important factor- like how long we’ve been together, how old I planned to be when I want a specific thing to happen between us, how long we need to be together to enter into more significant phases, etc. The truth is, when you know in your heart how you feel about someone you should follow it. The most accurate clock in the world is internal, it wakes you up, ages you and has been the first sense of ‘time’ your body has ever known. Creating time structures as a foundation for you lover defeats the purpose of falling in love at all- it almost eradicates the free fall of being able to uncontrollably feel and experience with your significant other because you are waiting on the right ‘time’ for something to happen.
A very close friend of mine is a doctor, who lives a very precise life and applies strict guidlines to almost every area of it. When it came to men, she had a set of rules for them too, which told them when and how the next parts of their relationships would go. In the beginning some of her past loves have thought her schedule was cute, but soon grew bored of feeling routined and inhibited. She rarely wanted to do or try new things together which consequently caused her relationships to feel the same and mundane. After somewhat of a break between boyfriends, she met someone new who has helped her to let go and live a little. It is so refreshing to see her trying new things, going to new places and feeling the feelings she thought would happen on her time. I remember her telling me once that she wishes she had let go so long ago, and how happy she is now that she’s not scared to just ‘be’ and follow what her heart feels.
Instead of waiting just go for it, in my experience following my gut has been the most frightening yet fullfilling moments in my life, and I have never regretted a single one. To me, love is not something that can be counted through structured minutes, but someting that you feel inside of you that will let you know when you are ready for the next steps. With waiting, you may just be missing out on the moments you are longing to happen. Sponteneity fuels romance, and if you look back at the most romantic moments in history, they have been completely on a whim.
It’s funny how love is one of the most precious and coveted feelings to actually be felt, and how we try to trap it with a serious of games and schemes between each other. If there is anything I have learned so far is that it cannot be trapped and cannot be forced- it is something undeniable and greater than anything we could use to subdue it. It controls our feelings, moods, appetities and daily functions-when you let go and let your emotions control this feeling, you will have no doubt in the timing or next steps to take, and the fantasy will become real.