No one is perfect, right? So the idea of a great spouse may seem a bit unrealistic. However, it is a realistic goal to strive for. Just the effort alone will make a great impact on the relationship. If you are unsure where to begin, first take an honest assessment of who you are.
Being truthful about your intentions and the different options you have in terms of how you respond and react to your spouse all go into the ingredients of a wonderful spouse. In order to better prepare you for this “great spouse” role, some things will definitely have to change.
Are you ready? If so, let’s go.
Below you will find the necessary ingredients that, if mixed together correctly, will ultimately deliver that marriage we so desire. If any of these sound familiar, they should. These components come directly from Colossians 3:12-14.
Kindness: The quality or state of being kind. Frequently displaying kindness to strangers is sometimes easier to do than the people we claim to love the most. Couples must never forget they are on the same team. Every action, word and thought should be given with kindness.
Humility: Not proud or haughty; not arrogant or assertive. Humbling oneself comes naturally to some, but is a little more challenging for others. So for those others, the recommendation is that you do a self examination and ask the necessary questions: “Why do I feel this way,” or Why is it so important for me to be right in this situation?” In addition to the questions, we must be willing to sacrifice. In marriage, our spouse comes first.
Gentleness: Mildness of manners or disposition. Love should feel good, even during the times a couple may disagree. Whether a couple is getting along perfectly or find themselves in a heated disagreement, one spouse should never question the love the other spouse has. Even when we’re upset, love should always be evident because of the gentleness we use.
Compassion: Sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. A natural instinct in a love relationship should be to take care of our partners. The goal should be to see about their needs, joy and happiness and want to contribute to it, often.
Patience: Bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint. This one is huge and what many couples struggle with. Human nature is to want things to happen instantly. We want our spouses to change instantly, we want perfect relationships instantly and sometimes it simply isn’t realistic. Being in it for the long haul means, we are going to put in the work and allow our spouses the space and time to contribute also.
Forgiveness: To cease to feel resentment against. Mistakes will be made. In order to move forward and grow as a couple, forgiveness is necessary. It isn’t healthy to harbor those negative feelings; it’s time to release and heal.
All of the above are major ingredients for a great spouse. The other two bonus features I would add are love and grace. True love can overcome any challenge, but extending grace to our loved ones is what each marriage needs a whole lot more of.