It’s hard to be bias in this article. Why, because I am an older woman married to a man my age. So, to think that my husband would prefer a younger woman over me…is simply too much to bear. And, I am sure if you poised that same question to husband, he would feel the same way about me and a younger man. However, because we know a couple personally that is in a May-December relationship, which appears to be working, I began to wonder if these types of relationships can work. I suppose anything is possible, but, as for me, I simply don’t see the point. (I know many of you would disagree with with me, but hey, I’m writing the article!) So again, I simply don’t see the point. Why would someone either moving towards or already in the “golden years” of their life want to add this type of situation on their plate? For excitement? Yes….there would be excitement. For sexual adventures? Yea….it would be that too. However, what about the negative side of this type of relationship? First, you would have to deal with that younger person on their level of maturity. (With that said….check please, I’m ready to go!) I didn’t get all my “golden years” of knowledge to be forced back to elementary school! Second, because of their younger age, they will want to explore and experience things that you have already explored and experienced — and are no longer interested in exploring and experiencing! Sure, you may be able to “act” as if you still want to do them, but at the end of the day you no longer want to do those thing. Been there, done that; been there, done that; been there, done that again! And, if truth be told, you would rather go home, get in bed early and curl with a good book and a movie! Third, if you have children or grandchildren near or at their age…..enough said. There will be problems that stems from that, that I don’t have room to fill!
So, lets look at some statistics regarding these types of relationships. Traditionally men enjoyed these types of relationships much more than women, however this is no longer the rule. Which amazes me because we are generally more sensible than men when it comes to this. Why on earth would a mature woman want to deal with the emotional stress of having an all-day game-playing, no job-having, roving eye “child” to bring such emotional instability into her mature life? Even if there is a physical attraction, once that’s over….now what do we do? He’s back to playing games, still has no job and still has a roving eye for the ladies…..younger ones at that! Face it, I’m too old to become a gamer; too tired to work to support us and too well-done to deal with all the women he’s attracted too or with the women of the children from his previous relationships! (Haven’t I struggled enough?)
I don’t care how flattering this young man or woman tries to make you believe you are, the truth is this: Sooner rather than later he or she is going to want to deal with a person closer to their age. So what’s the benefits of a May-December relationship? None from my viewpoint. First, studies have shown that wealth and physical attractiveness are often relevant in these types of relationships. And, these types of relationships are seldom viewed in a positive light. (Can’t you tell from this article?) Second, lust also tends to drive these types of relationships, but the maturer ones know that lust fades over a period of time. There also tends to be some power imbalances in these types of relationships and when there is power imbalances, control always follows. There is also a strong possibility of health issues for the older partner that sometimes the younger partner is either ill equipped to deal with or want to deal with. Again, these types of relationships there is generally always a motivating factor for the younger person to want to engage in a relationship with an older man or women and it usually has something to do with money and/or security.
I know I have given you more reasons on the negative side when considering these types of relationships but I must say that longevity in any relationship is hard to predict. May-December relationships, as with any other relationship’s survival depends on a number of factors. So it is impossible to say if these types of relationships will or won’t work. Any relationship can be a problem and all relationships, no matter what the age, takes work….hard work……. to make it work!
So, I have found this: Opposites may attract, but you got to be similar to stick!” So, if I ever find myself single (Lord Forbid!) and a mute, please point me in the direction of a gentlemen more my age. (I’m just saying……..)