Trolls have been among the most feared of the fairy folk since time immemorial. Trolls have been a part of human heritage from the Norse epics, to Peer Gynt, to Harry Potter. They are often portrayed as fierce brutes with low intellect that kill any living creature they meet. Trolls are actually more complex, intelligent, and majestic than people think. Here, to help dispel the rumors and misinformation, is IK, King of the Trolls.
Q. How would you like to be addressed? The Fairies Examiner wishes to be respectful of fae royalty.
A. Your offers of respect honor me, but while most monarchs demand to be addressed with titles and pomp and circumstance and all that hooplah, I personally prefer things to remain informal. Yes, I am the King of my people, but I am just a person just as you or any of your readers are, unless some of your readers are not people, in which case I am sorry that I made such an assumption, and I apologize to all you non-people out there. So, please just call me IK.
Q. How is “IK” pronounced?
A. IK is pronounced “IK”. It rhymes with “sick”.
Q. Where are you from?
A. Well, this is actually a rather tricky question. At my age I’ve forgotten more than most humans will ever forget in their entire lifetime, so as to where I was born I cannot tell you. Besides I was very young at the time and was not paying attention. I know it was in one of the Celtic regions of the world, but there are Trolls of many different kinds the world over, so it’s hard to pin it on any one spot.
Q. Please share a bit about your life.
A. Well, there are thousands of years to tell about, but I’m sure you don’t want this article to be long and boring, so I’ll just focus on a few key elements. I suppose I am most famous for a string of mistakes that I made one day, which involved some rather hideous and vile goats of a rather unsavory nature. I’m sure you’ve heard the story, everyone has. How would YOU feel if almost every living creature on the planet knew of you simply because you had one bad day? Frustrating is not strong enough a word! Other than that, I have made myself a historian on the subject of Tea, which is a drink sacred to Trolls (which we discovered, by the way). Other than that my life has been a potpourri of this and that, just like most any other being, well other than being made King of my people.
I was crowned the King of the Trolls in 1497, just five years after Christopher Columbus crossed the Atlantic to make things difficult for the indigenous population. Life as King is not as glamorous as people think, it’s all about making sure all of your people are happy, and taken care of. It’s like being a father to an entire race of beings, but I cannot complain. For like a father, I love all of my subjects and want them to do and be well.
IK the troll is very ancient and wise and has more to share with the human world. For more, visit IK the troll’s Facebook page. Please click here for the conclusion of this interview with IK, King of the Trolls.
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