I interviewed sound healer Michelle Newman about how ‘soul-centering’ can help in dating and relationships (to learn more about soul-centering first, click here:___________
Q- (me) Can couples do Soul-Centering together or is it better to go off on their own to center first?
A: (Michelle) Couples can do this together. I find that it’s best if each person in the couple does this on their own first because each of us comes with our own history and “baggage.” It’s important to find your own inner center and come to the relationship as a more whole being, then begin sharing this practice with your partner when you feel at ease about it. Sometimes, sharing too much of your personal “stuff” with your partner can scare them away or be overwhelming , especially if they have their own “stuff” to deal with. Strength in your own personal evolution is a bonus when it comes to creating a healthy relationship.
When both partners are strong and centered, utilizing these processes together often enhances the relationship.
Q- (me) Can this help when a fight is erupting or egos are involved?
A- (Michelle) Absolutely! My husband and I practice this regularly. Soon after disharmony / ego attachment has occurred, one of us usually remembers to make sounds (never know what they’ll be) and say, “Let’s Stop I don’t want to do this, do you?” We’ve actually done this in the middle of a tiff. Sometimes we’ll retreat to our own areas to cool down, engaging in our own individual centering process. We’ve also pulled out the crystal bowl and started playing it, immediately tuning us up and into our own well-being. Then we can more easily let go of our egoic positions, and connect harmoniously. We frequently suggest these kinds of techniques to couples with whom we work.
Q- (me) Interesting. Could this be helpful to do before a date?
A- (Michelle) Darn right it would! It’s so important to tune-up and tune-in to yourself before being with someone new, or someone you’re just getting to know. If everyone did this, then dating would be so much healthier, more balanced. There’d be far less insecurity that often occurs. People would be able to be more honest with themselves, and in their communication with each other, rather than play society’s games with each other. And we’d probably choose the right people to date because we’d be more in tune with ourselves.
Q- (me) Can people get answers from their Higher Self this way and have greater clarity?
Yes, they can. Tuning into yourself IS tuning into your Higher Self, your true self, the essence of you that is unscathed by human experience. When we tune into our Higher Self, we always receive the right answers to all of our questions with clarity.
Q- What if they are a single person looking to meet a soul mate? What if they are a person looking to improve an existing relationship? How might you help?
When I work with people in a private session, I always ask permission of their Higher Self, Angel(s) or Spirit Guide(s). We create an intention, guided by the client, so the focus is naming the intention of our session.
I’ve been trained in Hearing Heart listening. I’m listening very deeply to everything they’re saying, and not saying. I’m a mirror, reflecting back to my clients what they’re telling me, using the exact same language that they’re utilizing, so that they’ll be able to hear what I’m reflecting back to them. It’s easy to be lost in our own stories and experience. So, when a neutral person can reflect your thoughts & experiences using your own language, it’s often much easier to see your own path. Most of the time (because I’m opening myself up to my own guidance & attunement), I receive divine inspiration for what is a supportive practice. I usually use the crystal singing bowl because it’s so powerful in assisting the person to drop into their own attunement. If the person is able to express their feelings with their voice without fear, I will usually go there with them and see what comes out, then respond to their insights. If they’re afraid to use their voice in this way, then my job is to create a safe, non-judgmental container for our exploration into what might be holding them back. Usually we’re able to remove these blocks and make good progress.
When it comes to finding a soul-mate or improving a relationship, the answers are within one’s own journey, improving yourself, being a more whole human, knowing who you are so that you’re attracting your soul-mate by being your best self. Our relationships are always reflections of what’s going on within us. When we feel calm and happy, we’re more easily able to attract and create that in our relationship. I’ve come to view all of my relationships as mirrors, gauges for what’s going on within my own inner terrain. Certainly, my outer world reflects my inner world!
Lastly, I think it’s sweet that Michelle’s husband (a minister) provided her with this beautiful couple’s prayer. It’s a great way to close this soul-centered couple blog:
“A Couple’s Prayer Of The Heart” by Eliahu Goodman
Beloved Spirit of Life, your love fills, surrounds and embraces us. We are full of gratitude. We are thankful for our love, and for our commitment to a life together of loving faithfulness to one another.
We are thankful, too, for all the ways our lives have been lovingly touched and enriched in our relationships with our families, our friends and our spiritual communities.
We are grateful for the ways the power and wonder of sacred love fills our hearts with new joy and illumines our lives.
All creation is blessed through the shining light of our love for each other, which radiates from us into and throughout the Cosmos.
You have fashioned us not for loneliness, but rather to dwell together in mutual love, affection, kindness and delight. We pray that your grace and power will continue to nurture and uphold us in love that knows no end.
Shower us with blessings now and in all times and realms. Deepen our love, that it be like a rich garden bed of many sweetly scented flowers and delicious tasting fruit.
Blow gently on the sacred fire of our loving relationship that it may always burn brightly. Let forgiveness flow, and let humor unburden us in those times when we find ourselves in the midst of difficulty. And may we walk always in peace and love!
Beloved One, may your blessings go before us.
May your grace and peace abound.
May your spirit live within us.
May your love wrap us ‘round.
May your blessings remain with us always.
And Beloved One, may we always walk on holy ground.
Intuitive Spiritual Guide