It is crucial to heal old wounds and old traumas. If they are not healed, they will continue to resurface and cause disruptions in our life. To do this, return to them and experience them. Experience them fully. Find them in your shadows. This is where you tucked them away. You didn’t want to experience them in the moment they were happening, so you pushed them away and tried to forget them. This is a normal thing to do. We all do it. But this does no good. They do not disappear just because they are hidden. They just lay in wait until they are triggered and can come back to us.
To heal from the pain, we must return to these shadows and bring the pain back to us so we can deal with it. We must deal with them fully and completely. Exploring our shadows for old, undealt with pain is one aspect of the devil card in tarot. This is crucial to living a full life.
How do you identify where an old wound or trauma exists? When you feel a hurt brought on by a situation that is so familiar to you, when it seems like this particular situation keeps repeating itself in your life, take a look at it. Really take time to examine it. Ask yourself what was going on the last time you felt this way. And the time before that. And the time before that. And the time before that. And the time before that. See if you can trace it back to a time in your childhood or to a time when you were a baby and look around.
What brought this on? What do you need in this old moment that you are not receiving? What is your perception of lack right here and right now in this past moment of wounding? This is the source of the wound. What are you not receiving that you most need? The lack of this is wounding you. Most likely it is a sense that you are not receiving the love or compassion that you need. Examine this. As you examine this, allow yourself to feel the pain that you were feeling in that moment in time.
In the past, you did not know how to deal with it, so you just let it hurt you. You pushed it away as a natural reaction to it. But pushing it away, pushing it down within you did nothing to relieve the pain. It only left it unresolved. Because it was unresolved it continues, and will continue to continue to resurface. This will repeat itself for all the days of your life until you resolve it, until you fully experience what it was that you were feeling so long ago.
So use your memory even if your memory is unclear, and of course it will be after all this time. Put yourself back into the position and the place that you were in your first memory of this incident. Your first memory may or may not be the first occurrence, but for the sake of healing, it is as good a starting place as any. Give yourself a chance to go through it all again, but this time instead of pushing the feeling away, hold on to it. Feel it fully. Experience the pain fully. It may be intense, but ride it out.
What do you need in that moment? What would have made all the difference to you in terms of relief from the pain? Love? Send yourself some love. Don’t be shy about this, and don’t hold back. This is healing. This goes a long way towards fortifying yourself and generating strength.
When you find yourself repeating the same old patterns in your life, mediate on the devil card. When you find yourself experiencing old pain and saying, “Here we go again” don’t let it upset you. Get excited over it. Get excited because now you have a chance to experience it with intention. Set your intention to fully explore and experience the pain. Once you have experienced it, you have mastered it. You are now in control, not it. Now that you are in control, it cannot cause the grief it once did. Use the devil card as a focus for your meditations into your unhealed past. It will be of great benefit to you, guaranteed.