There are lots of formulaic stories out there, and sometimes readers love the formula. One beloved formula among certain readers might be referred to as the “Vampire Chick” formula. Here’s how to write a Vampire Chick story:
The main character:
- Create a female character age 20-35 who is or becomes a vampire.
- She doesn’t want to be a vampire or struggles with self-hatred since she became one.
- She has to be “nice” and hate sucking blood.
- She has to be either unnaturally innocent or a world-weary bad girl who has grown up. Both innocence and past pain are hooks for readers to care about her.
- Start her out being a “normal girl” with flaws like bad hair or clumsiness, but later reveal her secret super-hotness or have her become extremely attractive as the book goes on.
- She also has to have a special ability; she reads minds, sees ghosts, has visions, knows jujitsu, etc.
- She either must be a fashionista or despise/not care about clothing. Even though the main character is portrayed as a mess at first, she must be irresistible to all the straight male characters.
The love interest:
- The main character’s love interests must all be sinfully attractive. They must all fit into a persona of bad boy, villain, dark hero, hardened warrior, or another similar tough personality. Secretly, they must be wounded and broken inside so the main character can heal them with her love.
- The main love interest can be any hot guy from ancient vampire to vampire hunter, or even another supernatural being. It doesn’t matter. He is a decoration for the main character. Spend a lot of time describing how attractive the main character finds the love interest. Slather it on and make it really embarrassing Bonus sexy points if they can’t control their libido around each other.
- The love interest must lose all interest in any other woman besides the main character, though he must have had many women before her.
- The main love interest must be frustrated by the main character’s fashion sense. (He is a high-class man or he is a no-nonsense guy in inverse proportion to the main character’s value of looks and dress.)
- There must be a best friend for the main character to protect or to protect her. Other’s love for her shows she is lovable and her love for them makes her lovable. Have the best friend encourage her against the desires of the love interest to add drama.
- All Vampire Chick books have one gay character to show how non-homophobic the writer is. There are extra tolerance points if the person is the main character’s best friend.
- One of the attractive male characters must be a vampire hunter with a love/hate relationship with the main character. He can hate her at first and then fall in love. He can protect her until she becomes a vampire and then turn on her. Extra points are given for surprising or unique variations.
- A handsome, intimidating, evil ex-lover can make the best bad guy or assistant-to-the-bad-guy.
- If the main character becomes a vampire in the book, she has to be unusually sane during her “newborn vampire” stage or not go through it at all.
- Accept or reject any piece of vampire lore as it fits the story’s vision. Use the explanation of “what vampires are really like” to add word count to the story.
- Any other mythical race can be real or a myth based on how many supernatural characters are used in the story. If a mythical race usually hate vampires, the main character has to be the exception to their hatred, excluding the villain. Describe how the mythical races “really are” for word count.
- Somehow the main character must always be the key to saving the city/country/world from super-evil forces. Danger and magnitude must grow throughout the novel/series with a maximum of one week in-between threats.
- Many terrible injuries must occur to the main character so the readers can feel bad for her. If she isn’t yet a vampire, she never requires pain medication or physical therapy, ruins her looks, or permanently disables herself. If she is a vampire, she will heal quickly with no scars. Vampire or not, she can drink the love-interest’s blood to cure her and that’s sexy.
- Sex scenes should come at inappropriate moments with no privacy, no time constrains or attention to natural progression, terrible locations, and no warning. Even if the main character jumps right in the sack with the love interest, she isn’t promiscuous. Every character accepts this. No disease or unwanted pregnancy ever results from sex in “Vampire Chick” novels.
- There is no need to complete the story or even the plot within any given book. Readers love it when you make them wait for the next book to see if the world was saved. Chop it off wherever you like.
Though the formula rings true for many books, it’s one that readers continue to love. Reading or writing a Vampire Chick story is always entertaining.