There was a movie called The Stepford Wives, all about a small town in which the wives were…well perfect. Of course it was a fictional story, but it made a lot of men think about what they would define as the perfect woman. What do guys really want? For just a moment lets think about what men want without screaming chauvinist pig or using all the political correctness to define the perfect woman. Please keep in mind that this is tongue-in-cheek. A recent post on finding a Stepford husband was met with comments that clearly showed some people can’t take a joke!
Let’s start with beauty and in each beholder’s eye that may be different, but let’s say we all would like our dream girl.
Besides the celestial visage we dream about, we’d like an amazing body. That means Barbie-like for most guys, but again in the eyes of the beholder he wants that perfect body. Potbellies are not part, nor synonymous with perfect bodies. Looking pregnant when you are not is not a perfect body.
Next we would like our woman to perform great back rubs and body scrubs. This is not asking too much, after all, we are defining the perfect woman so let’s go all out.
Nagging has to be excluded from this perfect woman’s vocabulary. Nag? What’s that?
How about finding a woman who neither contradicts us nor argues with us, especially in front of our friends and family? We should be living in eternal bliss not bickering – ever!
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so let’s make sure this woman can cook, bake and mix a good drink. And let’s not get upset when we start eating while you are finishing up with the cooking chores. After all, if you wanted to eat together, why call us to the table early. If they can time meals to come out on time in a restaurant, you can do it too.
While the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the way to his penis is through… his penis! As you can imagine, sex is rather important and may even trump eating good food and watching the Super Bowl. So let’s have a woman who knows all the porn star-hooker ways of exciting her guy. Speaking of sex, she should want to have sex with us at beckon call and leave us the hell alone when we want to just roll over and go to sleep. Cuddling is something you do with stuffed animals, not humans. We don’t own stuffed animals, hence, we don’t cuddle.
Doing laundry doesn’t sound like a great virtue, but if she can do laundry and fold well, now that’s a bonus!
Intellect, breeding and knowledge should be most evident when taken out socially which means she should speak when spoken to.
This woman should look great in clothing and fine jewelry, but she should buy her own stuff so we don’t have to work for the rest of our lives to keep her living this way. And this brings us to independently wealthy. She should preferably be an heiress of some renown.
While this ideal gal might sound pretty, pretty good, one might ask, “if there are any women out there matching this description, what the hell would they want with you, you chauvinist pig!”
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