Having a desire to change an aspect of your life leads to discipline if you truly want to have the outcome you wish. In therapy, I am conscious of the fact that the brain fights for homeostasis and to be truly effective I must work with the part of the person that does not want to change and the part of the person that does wan to change.
A question I ask to get the dialogue open and curious is: “If you continue to do xyz, where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
I begin to explore with the client and take the conversation into the third person to avoid defense mechanisms. For example, I would ask the client: “What would your best friend tell me about you?” There is an open vs. closed system that are constantly battling one another for homeostasis. The closed system wants order and holds rigidity and this can be beneficial in some cases.
Understanding the paradigm will guide you into a smooth change without bouncing back into familiar patterns. Surround yourself with people that support your change and also are living this pattern that you wish to adapt.