Poor producers for ABC’s ‘Dancing With the Stars’; they just can’t seem to catch a break.
While trying to recruit their latest line up for season 16 (!) of the wildly popular reality show, (where celebrities are paired up with professional dancers and taught everything from the Foxtrot to the Tango), the show has had multiple rejections already. It was recently reported that Lance Armstrong, Lindsay Lohan and Ann Romney had all rejected ‘DWTS’ offers.
With an arguably lackluster line up of contestants the past few seasons, ABC has to really step up their game if they want to keep their viewers. Lucky for them, that’s where we come in.
Sure, the show has hosted some notable male personalities such as Steve-O from MTV’s ‘Jacka**’, lifelong entertainer Donny Osmond, former NFL great Jerry Rice, astronaut Buzz Aldrin, and more. But still, ABC has left out a few hunks, weirdos, and otherwise entertaining men who would definitely make us tune in a little closer.
See our top list of who we think should be on this season’s ‘DWTS’ and let’s hope we get at least one of them right! If not, we’ve still got hope for a brighter future.
Milton Teagle Simmons aka “Richard Simmons” has built an empire out of his enthusiasm for fitness and fun. We feel like this would translate really well onto the ‘DWTS’ dance floor in a great way.
Sweatin’ to the Oldies? Sign us up!
He would look great in all the costumes, he would be animated and unpredictable, and probably a force to be reckoned with. We know he is rather fit, which gives him an advantage. And with positivity reigning supreme, Richard couldn’t go wrong.
Seriously, how has this gentle giant NOT been on this show yet?
ABC, step up your game! Think of all the possibilities with Shaq on the dance floor.
At 7’1″, the former NBA star would be able to perform feats almost no other contestant has been able to even attempt. Flipping his partner, or holding her while dancing the entire dance?
Shaq could really get things done. We’re just mind blown thinking about it.
Tommy Lee Jones
After his infamous pout at the Oscars, Tommy Lee Jones is just the right spice ‘DWTS’ is desperate for.
Attitude, aggression, apathy… He’s got it all.
We imagine he’s already had some practice shuffling a woman around on a dance floor, but what we really want to see is him doing the foxtrot while looking most unimpressed.
Is that too much to ask, ‘DWTS’ producers? Is it?
Is it just us, or does Will Ferrell make everything funny?
Racecar drivers, anchormen, ex-frat guys reliving their glory days, fashion designers… Ferrell nails it.
We’d love a little humor on the dance floor, and we would look to none other than the funny guy himself to provide it.
In between filming ‘Anchorman 2’ we’re sure he could fit in learning the Samba, right?
Yes, THE Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones.
Sure, the Stones are packing stadiums and arenas on their 50th Anniversary Tour, but between guitar licks, couldn’t ol’ Keith shine himself up for a country line dance? We’re sure Mick and the boys wouldn’t mind ABC borrowing him.
Mostly, we just want to see how he would react to the judges’ surely less-than-dazzling comments. We’d expect some British-accented rambling justifying his mistakes. But we’d be on Team Keith no matter what.
This face has money written all over it. Money for ABC because their ratings would go through the roof. Every girl in America and their mom would watch ‘DWTS’ if Ryan Gosling was a contestant.
Ryan has been on the Hollywood hot list since ‘The Notebook’ days. Recently his roles in ‘Gangster Squad,’ ‘The Ides of March,’ and ‘Drive’ have earned him some real street (acting) cred, beyond his incredibly good looks.
Ladies should whole-hardheartedly agree: Ryan on ‘DWTS’ would be a winner.
Samuel L. Jackson
This man can do no wrong. Even if he got on the dance floor and did the Hand Jive, Samuel L. Jackson would win. And if not, he would probably argue his way into winning anyway.
‘DWTS’ producers: Samuel L. Jackson is just the right type of bad-*ssery the show needs! This guy knows how to handle snakes on planes, for Pete’s sake!
Although Jackson may be busy with his many projects, he would most definitely kick season 16 up a notch or five.
We hear Tim Tebow isn’t up to much these days. We’re sure he’s keeping busy with the Tim Tebow Foundation, but in terms of his career as an NFL quarterback? Well, let’s just say he probably has some time on his hands.
Love him or hate him, Tim Tebow knows how to draw in an audience.
We’re thinking he’d probably perform his dances like he did during the 2011-2012 NFL season with the Broncos: Lackluster (to say the least) until a game-changer in the very last steps of his dance to wow the judges and win.
As the wide receiver for the New York Giants, Victor Cruz has not only made a name for himself as a great player, but a great dancer as well.
Cruz’s signature touchdown dance is the salsa, and let us tell you: He is good.
He’d probably have the upper-hand in any Latin-inspired dance, but given his true athleticism and talent, we’re sure he’d excel just as well doing the Foxtrot.
In between making executive decisions on Facebook’s new ventures, changes, and questionable privacy settings, Mark Zuckerberg needs a stress reliever.
What better stress relief than to dance it out, huh Marky?
This introvert would be an interesting choice for ‘DWTS’ because he prefers to stay out of the limelight and focuses on the success of the social media website that changed the world. No big deal.
We’re sure he’d get a bunch of ‘Likes’ regardless of his performance, and maybe a couple new friend requests, too.
We’re thinking that ‘DWTS’ needs to get the royal treatment if things are really going to heat up.
Enter: Prince Harry.
After just returning from fighting with the British Army in Afghanistan, Harry could probably stand to have a little fun, meet some attractive female dancers, and win over more hearts of the American people.
As he waits to be an uncle to Prince William and Kate Middleton’s child, he’ll pick up some great moves which he can later teach Queen Elizabeth. What a perfect plan. You’re welcome, Buckingham Palace.
Okay, okay so one more Brit: Sir Elton John.
Anything this man touches turns to gold. And although he recently became a father for the second time, we’re sure the timeless entertainer would dazzle the judges, audience, and viewers at home with his renditions of our favorite dances.
Do you think he could convince ‘DWTS’ to add the Crocodile Rock to the season’s required dances to learn?
Does anyone even know what the Crocodile Rock actually looks like? Us either.