Oklahoma’s own Carrie Underwood sings about parental gender distress in her hit “American Girl”. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/carrieunderwood/allamericangirl.html In the song, the Daddy badly wanted a boy baby, to the point of planning and fantasizing about their time together as the child grew up. The Daddy in the story ended up being “tickled pink” with what his daughter’s relationship brought him over the years and it all turned out OK.
The topic of gender and what parents prefer in a unborn child’s gender seem to be pretty common during pregnancy for parents of planned and unplanned pregnancies. It gets talked about often with friends, family and strangers. People just ask, guess and speculate, even to a stranger. Some parents have big fantasies about their child’s gender. However some parents are completely OK to wait until the child presents before learning if it is a boy or a girl even though various technologies can provide the information sooner. Amongst expecting parents, gender preference and gender disappointment shows up on message boards, in chats and at the park or playground …. http://www.pregnancy-calendars.net/Genderdisappointment.aspx
Even circles of adoptions processes, discuss that many families ask for a female child, and make plans according to to that, but it is unclear even to these groups if the devotions to gender are in the best interest of the child and family. http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1315
In some countries, one gender is favored over another, to the point that a parent may terminate a pregnancy because the fetus is the wrong gender.
Not much writing is devoted in professional counseling care or even in obstetrics and gynecology medical writings to the issue of gender preference in researchable articles and topics.There is no direct guidance given, say from the American Academy of Pediatrics on raising children when this is an issue for the parents. Counseling regarding gender preference disappointments is available through agencies who deal with family issues, like Sunbeam Family Services, OKC’s oldest mental health provider.
As with the song, it seems to work out in the end for most new parents. That parents accept the gender of the child, they are given and life goes on.
And NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT Some parents, however, struggle in general with a pregnancy for other various reasons which can have very serious consequences for the infant which are avoidable. Recent issues regarding national issues of reproduction and Roe versus Wade and other domestic issues appear to be increasing possible situations in which one or both parents may find themselves becoming parents to term in a pregnancy, though they may not wish to remain parents of the child.
Oklahoma has a Safe Haven Law, http://safehaven.tv/states/oklahoma/#info gives parents the option of transitioning an infant out of their care into the care of the state with no penalty and no questions asked if the child is delivered safely to a location such as a fire house, hospital, OKDHS or medical clinic within 7 days of the birth.
This reportedly has prevented ANY infant abandonment in the state since it’s inception. http://newsok.com/oklahoma-legislator-touts-safe-haven-laws-success-afte…
Oklahoma is one of the few states that has this option.
There are many options for parents who are pregnant or expecting and are faced with complex situations ( getting benefits for housing, medical care, counseling and food and daycare in order to keep the child, options for adopting the child, or fostercare services). Parents in need can go to any OKDHS office and request general assistance assessments, which can include a wide matrix of supports. (405) 521-3444 is the OKC number for help with living and welfare expenses. 1-866-411-1877 is the State number for Oklahoma. http://www.okdhs.org/programsandservices/snap/ Here is a link for a webpage, which highlights counties on a map, revealing a page regarding local services from the State.
http://www.infantcrisis.org/ is a brief intervention service of supporting items like food, clothing and diapers.
In the past, children have been abandoned in various locations, threatening the health and life of the infant unnecessarily. Some situations, the child’s life may be terminated unnecessarily due to distress from the parent. This law, the Safe Haven Law offers parents another card to play, if they have some thought they need to relinquish a child.
Let the baby be the beautiful, wonderful perfect all American to someone.